Twas the night before Christmas and throughout Sonny Mcleans

Not a person was serving, they were unclogging the drains

Me at the bar in my new Red Sox cap

Had just settled in for a new Guinness tap

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my bar stool to see what the matter

Ran out the front door and was astounded to see

That a big bright red Limo was coming towards me

I side stepped the car as it just missed my foot

It was covered in oil and some kind of black soot

The door opened wide and smoke billowed out

The smell was familiar as it lingered about

Out stepped a man whose clothes were all dirty,

They were tattered and torn and he looked well over thirty

His white beard was dirty with patches of grey

He was spitting and cussing to get out of his way

His uncanny likeness to “The Babe” was a shock

But this man was drunk and he could hardly walk

He was pulling a dog who nose blinked bright red

It had shoe horns for antlers tied to its head

He stumbled and swayed mumbling “What could be worse”

My present this year was to continue “The Curse”

He was a jolly old man who spoke with a hiss

His license said “Kringle”, but he said “Call me Kris”

The doorman allowed  him to come on inside

He slipped him a fifty and said “Just watch my ride”

His eyes how they dilated, his face was all flush

“I need a drink now” he said in a hush

The barkeep had said there’s no drinks tonight

Look at yourself, “You’re as high as a kite”

The old man had chuckled and he said with a grin

“The drink’s for my dog and he’ll take a gin”

Then all at once, Mike had shown up

He grabbed the old man who was holding his pup

The old man got angered and what he did was a shame

He started to choke Mike, saying he was to blame

Mike yelled for back-up as they fell to the floor

The guy weighed a ton, he was as big as the door

On Jimmy, On Julie, On Andrew, On Sam,

On Rachel, On Alex, On Stacy, On Fran

The old man let go as a big crowd drew near

Then thought to himself, “I’ve got nothing to fear”

But he was mistaken, the crowd was a mob

Beating him senseless was now their job

He ran for his life saying “Today’s not my day”

“The Curse” was now broken, let’s keep it that way

He jumped in the Limo with his dog still intact

“I’m at the wrong bar, this I know is a fact”

The Limo was running and ready to go

He yelled out the sun roof “Just say it ain’t so”

“You got what you wanted, and I won’t ever be back”

“When I go out drinking it will be at “The Shack”

“Just tell all the fans that I’ve put things right”

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night”

by Wayne Morse